9 Ways to Survive Twin 3 year olds (or How Twin 3 year old are like Gremlins)
Meet Max and Kate, my twin 3 year olds. Sure, they look cute, but if you give them :30 unsupervised seconds they’ll turn your home into a scene from (insert post apocolypse movie title here: think explosions, chaos, floods, perhaps walking zombies). Max is my shadow and Kate knows how to turn on the charm, or the tears, to get whatever she wants from me.
They share a bond that makes them hopelessly devoted to each other. Max protects and serves Kate’s every whim. Kate often serves as a distraction for Max’s mischief. When they’re really desperate to defeat us they both turn on the tantrums simultaneously. They’re hard to keep up with.
Karen and I need help surviving this age, so I’m hoping to generate some discussion from you twin/multiple parents out there with this post.
Since nothing we’re doing seems to be working, I want your tips.
Here are 5 twin 3 year old survival tips that don’t work:
1. Put a TV in their room – I’d hoped this would cause them to want to stay in their beds at bed time. Insert 2 hour Dora DVD and go to bed. What this results in is two hours later I hear “Daddy, start Dora again. Daddy! Da! DDY! Start Dora! Daddy!”
2. Push their beds together – We bought them twin size mattresses once they started climbing out of their cribs. These two are cuddlers though. They want to be in “Daddy’s bed”, so I figured I’d push their beds together and let them cuddle each other – like in the womb, right? Nope. I created a giant trampoline with a hole in the middle. Max jumps until one of them gets hurt, while Kate chants his name: “Max. Max. Max. Max.”
3. Potty train them by using stickers as a reward: It worked with Izzy when she was young, but there was just one of her. Each time she’d use the potty she’d earn a sticker. Once she’d collected enough we bought her a prize (a tree house/swing set). This approach isn’t working with the twins. Two things happen: 1. they find the stickers on their own. 2. They scream until we give them to them. Either way, those stickers get stuck on walls, furniture, and in hair. Where else would you put stickers?
4. Let them play outside until they’re worn out; seems logical. Works for me. I train hard or work hard and then I pass out. With twin 3 olds it back fires. The more tired they get the worse their behavior. Rule of twin parenting: don’t let them get overtired. Ever. It’s like getting a Gremlin wet. Just don’t.
5. Let them stay up until they get tired on their own: Wrong. They get a 2nd wind somewhere around 8:50pm and start bouncing off of the walls. Once the 2nd wind kicks in you’re destined to be up until 10:45 begging them to go to bed. Again with the Gremlins thing. Don’t let them stay up past midnight.
Bonus Tips:
6. Let them sleep with you if all else fails: Um, no. There is no sleep. Not for the adults at least. My friend Charlie at Howtobeadad.com nicely diagrams how this works out.
7. Arts and Crafts time!: Also known as paint the furniture and walls primary colors time or glue your eyes shut time! No thanks.
8. Disrobe them at dinner so that they don’t ruin their clothes; unless naked butts on the dinner table is your thing, this isn’t an appealing way to enjoy a meal.
9. Let someone keep them overnight for you!: this sounds great in theory. You get to spend time with your spouse, sleep in, enjoy peace and quiet. It works for the evening. But picture Wyatt Earp in Tombstone “you tell them I’m comin! And Hell’s comin’ with me. Hell’s comin’ with me!” Now picture your kids thinking that about their return trip the next day. Mine always come home with a vendetta.
It seems an appropriate title for this post would be “How Twin 3 year olds are Like Gremlins”.So, let’s hear it from you parents of multiples. We need help getting our kids to bed, getting them potty trained, and getting them to keep their naked bodies off of the kitchen table during meals. Help.
Training:
Swam 2000 yards at 5:15am as: 150 warm up / 7 x 50 drill-swim / 400 / 2 x 200 / 400 / 3 x 100
Ran: 5.3 miles in 47 minutes
Reblogged this on Inspiredweightloss.
You should be very afraid. lol I get new moms of twins coming up to me when im out with mine and without fail they ask if it gets better.I always answer with it gets different. I never want to scare them by saying, Its just as hard if not harder. At times I sit and miss the infant stage where they just slept,ate, and pooped….then my reminiscing of tiny toes and sweet little hiccups starts to sour and turns into nightmarish flashbacks of my daughter screaming and screaming and attacking my nipples with a demeanor that I can only compare to a rabid animal.
I’m constantly looking for ways to keep my cool with them. So really, I have no advice to make you less afraid. lol There definitely are the most amazing times, they can be really funny and fun …I just can’t seem to keep the positive time in the limelight.
Who’s got some advice? lol
My twins are 3 weeks old. I’m afraid.
Really funny – Wyatt Earp, Gremlins – thanks for the laughs.
My children would do the same thing with the video.
Maybe, they should be in seperate bedrooms.
You are so right. I have boy and girl twins that about to be 2 and I don’t get it. I also 3 other children that are 13 11 and 8 and there great. All ways have been. Now our twins are the worse kids I have ever seen. I love kids always have. I have all my little tricks how to handle all most anything the give me but the twins I have no clue what I am doing worng. They don’t listen they mess everything up. They run all over the place. No matter what I do they are so bad. So I guess good luck. Your not alone.
hang in there Boredmama. It’ll get easier, then they’ll turn 3. Looking forward to 4! 🙂
Memyselfandkids, I read today that seperating them while they are trying to get sleepy is a good idea. They tend to feed off of each others energy.
This makes me glad I had a vasectomy. I’m afraid of twins.
I am a stay at home dad of 3.25 year old twin girls and can so relate to the above. It is however misleading since you offer only tips on what NOT to do..Im already avoiding most of these mistakes but could really use help as it is still very difficult at times..
Hey Tony, you’re right. They are very difficult times. My intention was to write a legitimate How-To article, but i quickly figured out that I had no clue. We’re still taking it day by day ourselves. Good luck!
Thanks Chad for the kind words and good luck to you as well. Only someone who has lived it can understand all the extra things that occur as a result of there being 2 the same age @ the same time. I gotta run they are getting easy to scrap in the next room!
I’m a single mum to 3 yr old identical twin boys and I get where you are coming from. My boys are like a hurricane looking for a coastal village to hit!! i have no blinds or curtains left in the house..had to box in all sockets…everything is up 6 ft high. I also have an older child but NOTHING could have prepared me for this. stair gates dont work and i have to jam their room door shut at night otherwise they sneakily destroy my house before waking me!! I’m afraid I can’t offer any helpful advice either…even my health visitor is flummoxed. I suppose we just have to try our best to get through these years without going crazy.
My two are much better behaved when separated…they seem to egg each other on when together. Dont even get me started on the fighting! roll on nursery….
Victoria, thank you for the comment. You are exactly right about them egging each other on. The feed off of each other. We will survive!
Wow! I thought I had it rough…It sounds like your boys are the ones in charge over there. Forgive me if my blatant honesty offends but I gotta ask what are you using for discipline? It has to be tough not having a man in the house. My girls are waaaay worse when my wife is home. Trust me I am no expert. My 3 year old girls are my first (and last) children but all I can say is I try and apply common sense whenever possible. Rule number one for me when it comes to controlling them is to teach them that there will be consequences for their actions and follow through on what I say I’m going to do. It will be very difficult not to give in the first few times but it gets easier. There has to be something those boys really like that you can take away and use as leverage right? I only want to help, as a stay at home dad in a rural area I don’t get a lot of interaction with people in similar situations so I guess it’s good therapy for me to vent.
Thanks for your comment Tony. It is hard on my own but I do have rules and consequences for breaking them. I had an outreach worker in due to their behaviour and she told me I’m doing everything right. I use time-out (with twins you have to have nerves of steel for that one!) and also take away favourite toys etc. They are just very strong willed clever wee chaps so it will take a bit longer…so I’m told…haha!!
Well good luck with them may it come sooner than later!
oh and I’m not offended as I know you are only trying to help 🙂
well…my boys started nursery and have immediately been referred to OT …adhd is suspected. Suppose that would explain a few things anyway! I already have an older child with aspergers…the joys of parenthood…lol!!
Victoria, I would fight the label at that age. We used to call them “kids”, now people are too quick with labels. At 3, my now 8 year old, was labeled as “at risk” and they threw all sorts of labels at us. We resisted it. And now she’s in accelerated learning as a 3rd grader. She was just smart and needed to be stimulated…not put in a corner.
I do want to avoid the labels. but the boys also fall constantly and bump into everyone/everything and can’t sit still. It makes life at home a nightmare and dinner times are dangerous cos they keep falling off or tipping over the chairs…have reverted back to high chairs in the meantime. ..
HaHaHa! I re-read this tonight. Tips 4 & 5 really didn’t work for us either. I’m just now commenting because in half a year only one person attempted to give you a new tip to try! Nothing has worked well for us since our oldest turned 3–& he’s 4 now. They figure every tactic out within a couple of tries–it means you have SMART kiddos! My 2 are 17 months apart. My advice is ASK YOUR MOM Chad! When she gives you the real survival skinny, you post it here for me–my mom only had one kiddo & knows nothing! HaHaHa!
My twin boys are only 6 months old but I have a 5 year old girl and a almost 3 year old little boy as well. We use “Love and Logic” stuff for our discipline at home/mixed with Supernanny. P.S. After finding out they were twins I began to notice that Supernanny covered a lot of twin families, lol. What am in in for???? Good luck!
a wild ride! It’s also a lot of fun. Congrats. Let me know if you have any questions as you go along. We’ve learned a FEW things.
I just came across this after having an “interesting” Christmas with my 9 year old, 6 year old and 3 year old twins. (All boys). It made my laugh. Although bedtime is pretty routine, the arts and crafts: spot on! I struggled deciding whether to get two of everything or one for Christmas. I decided I didn’t want two if everything, so of course there’s been lots of fighting.
Also, I’ve noticed after raising two singletons then twins, that my twins are fiercely protective of EVERYTHING! And sharing is SO much harder to teach! Ugh! Someday we’ll look back and smile and these days.
Great blog! I enjoyed it!
I am in the same boat I have 3 year old boy girl twins, and they are exactly as you’ve described. I feel like I’m loosing my mind!
Hang in there, Meg! Unfortunately that’s really the only advice I can give. ha.
Jesus thank the Lord I am not alone! My twins are 3 and everything you said is bang on for me to. one other things though they constantly whine scream and fight all day.
I bought my girls mp3 players and headphones (two sets twice!) that didnt work they chewed the headphones into width of a dime did their own wire crimping and yes even cracked the screen of one of the mp3 players and I ened up having to put the same song on over and over or there headphones kept falling out when they did work.. Epic Fail.
I wish I had some advice to give you just like I really wish someone had some for me, but I guess we just keep hanging in there One day at a time… one day at a time! Good luck and atleast we know this is just par for the course with having twins!
Lindsey, isn’t it funny how it’s hard to explain twins to non-twin parents?? They just don’t get how it’s “different”. Even parents with kids a year apart think it can’t be that different. It is! I’m not sure how. But twins are crazy!!! ha.
Lmao i have 3 year old identical twin boys and everything you’ve wrote sounds exactly like them except my boys break everything they can get their sticky hands on! I’m scared to death that the older they get the bigger and more expensive stuff there gunna break!
I laughed hysterically as I read this. It’s reassuring to know that others are in the same boat as me. I have to hide the pull-ups from one of my 3 year old girls because she will steal one, run to the closet, replace her panties with it, and poop!
Maybe we should start asking for advice from parents of triplets and more. Surely, they have figured this out.
Don’t forget tip #11
Don’t wish for peace and quiet. It never ends well. If twins actually give you 5 minutes of it, beware that it will lead to damage that will take hours of work to undo. I immediately panic when all goes quiet in my house.
Thank you for the laughter, it was definitely better than advice.
I started searching online in hopes of finding some enlightening words on how to better deal with or shall I say better cope what seems to be a losing battle at times split up by moments – very brief moments of true parental joy. And instead I found this and it made me laugh so hard because its as if you wrote about our twins and our daily battles – especially the sticker thing? How is that possible?
Thank you – realization is that we can’t be doing it that wrong if others feel that same as us. So we r going to lighten up –
Or try to and hope that we one day just remember the good stuff!
Katie n Jon –
Parents of 3 yr old twin girls
Thank you –
This was just hilarious. made me feel much better about my out of control 3 year old twins. I’m looking for tips on how to handle the constant fighting and jealousy. The only thing that helps is splitting them up and giving them individualized attention. However, that is almost impossible most days because both my husband and I work all day. We also have an 18 month old who needs attention. We just try to do the best we can. Our current timeout is making them lay down in their bed with the lights off, while the rest of the family is having fun. That usually buys 15-20 minutes of good behavior once they return.
I made my girls (now 4) a get along T-shirt. Its an extra large white V neck of mine with “This is our get along T-shirt” written on the front. I made them wear it once, at the same time of course, heads and arms together and all. Now I just bribing it up and they stop fighting for the most part. I totally agree through that separation is the most effective method but this works for me too.
Have 3.5 yo twin boys. The best way to describe it is throwing a housewarming party for 20 of your most inconsiderate college buddies everyday of your life.
I can’t believe, feels like reading my own story. My 3 year old twin are no different.. am laughing loud
Wow! I came to this blog out of pure desperation! Googling different ways to handle my three year old twins. I have to say, everything you have said is everything I have tried…and it is sooo true, down to the potty-training stickers and the tv in the bedrooms. I have no advice to add (Sorry!) even time-outs leave you down-trodden and guilt ridden as the other makes a case for the time-out-ee or even tries to get your attention so the other can escape “the chair.” I do need to add that ours fight….constantly! Almost every three seconds…I need to time it personally 🙂 Over toys, juice, a Q-tip, dirt….anything the other has…This stay at home momma is tired! and a little bit scared for the day ahead of me…This blog made it a bit brighter though 🙂 thank you for the post!
I am caring for my 3year old twin grandsons. My daughter passed away in a car accident a year ago. My husband and I are retired and taking care of them is the hardest job I have ever had. I have spent the afternoon praying and crying questioning whether or not we are doing a good job. I honestly thought we were some how doing EVERYTHING wrong ! I now feel as though I am a member of a very special group……And all of us hanging on waiting till next year when our lives will be in parental bliss. I too am grateful to have come upon this blog I at least don’t feel alone. Does anyone else break out in a sweat when they know they have to take them to the grocery store… Or is it my age ?
Thank you for all of the continued dialogue everyone! Sandy, I’m sure you’re doing a great job. It’s just incredibly difficult isn’t it? But those moments when they hold hands or take care of each other make up for all of the difficult times. I wrote this post when Max and Kate were 3. They’re almost 5 now. And it’s still really hard. But Karen and I honestly feel blessed to have been given the task of being their parents.
My google search was “3 year old twins HELP” and you all know why! Our girls are as sweet as sugar, but oh.my. will this phase ever end? It is very interesting that the things that work with singletons (we have an older son) just don’t work with twins. And I completely agree that most things only work for a season and then they figure you out and you have to change it up. Guerrila Parenting. I think the best message here is – You aren’t a complete failure. That alone is encouraging-thank you for writing this.
I do want to share that we’ve found Leap Pads to be a lifesaver – Get the rechargeable version and load them up. They have saved our sanity MANY times.
Soldier on my friends.
Lately when people ask what it’s like to have twins I say “Imagine your child has their little friend come over that’s the same age and they never leave.” Sometimes when they are acting up I threaten to send their little friend home. You should have seen the looks I got the first couple of times. My girls are 4.5 now and it’s getting better daily but still very challenging. My wife and I are about to go through a divorce and one of the main issues is we can’t get on the same page about how to deal with our girls sad to say. I wish you all better luck.
Laughing so hard right now. Wish I had advice, but I am right there with you – twin girls that just turned three. They seem to have the uncanny ability to sense exactly when they have almost pushed me to the edge, so that they can get all sweet and lovey mere nano-seconds before mama is about to run screaming out of the house.
I think the only chance of surviving this age is to adopt a wicked sense of humor and drink wine, lots of wine.
I have 3 and a half year old twin boys and have gone through two time outs and one fight as I tried to read this. Have tried everything on your list and came by this page when I was looking for how to deal with the stress of twin boys. When does it get easier??
Hi MJ, this post has generated a lot of discussion – and hopefully hope for others that “at least I’m not alone.” 🙂
Max and Kate are 5 now – and I can’t tell you that’s its “easier”, but with each new age there are new joys that make up for the difficulty. I’m planning to write a follow up to this post pretty soon. Hang in there everyone!
Chad
I just did a random google search on dealing with 3 year old twins. I have boy/girl twins. I also have a 24 year old daughter and 22 year old son. I had my moments raising them that I never thought I would get through, but raising singletons was a walk in the park compared to having twins. I am exhausted everyday and I never feel rejuvenated after a full nights sleep. Twins are non-stop in action and words. Each morning is like a marathon. They are like time bombs waiting to go off !!! I rush like crazy to get them breakfast. They never want the same thing, and I can never prepare anything fast enough for one, without the other demanding they are the “priority” so to speak. Getting them dressed is a juggling game of “come and get me” from one and “hide and seek” from the other. After bellies are been fed, clothes are on, hair is brushed, and faces are washed, the next step is to getting outerwear on. Talk about a true test of mental stamina! Now that we are all dressed and headed out the door one will throw themselves down in fits because they forgot their favorite toy they want to bring. This sets the other one off in reminder that they too need a toy to bring. No amount of begging will change their willful little minds. Finally we get all the necessities and get to the vehicle. I chase one twin around and catch him in mid stride, wrestle him into the car seat. I then track down the other one that decides to explore. I wrestle her into the car seat. FINALLY, I am almost to the finish line. I get into driver seat and talk a big breath! All of a sudden piercing screams comes from behind my head. Screams that the seatbelt is too tight, or that he/she is talking to the other! LORD GIVE ME STRENGTH !!! As I sit in the drivers seat for a moment trying to catch my breath; I glance up in my rear view mirror feeling accomplished and notice I have not yet brushed my hair or put on any make-up. I settle myself with the thoughts that I am Wonder Women and DONT NEED it! Will there EVER be a day again that life will be easier? (whatever easy is). I put my vehicle in reverse and head on our way. When I arrive at daycare, part 2 of the missions starts…. Getting these two little monsters out of the car, with required toys and bags, hoping it will be a smooth transition…. But first, I need to re-dress them because it was too long of a 5-minute drive to leave the boots, hats, and mitts on. We land safely at the door and I proceed to undress the recently dressed little darlings. Most days I release them like freshly hatched butterflies. I head on my way to work only 3 hours later. MISSION COMPLETED! You get how exhausting this is! I am feeling rather numb when I arrive to work but I pull up my big girl panties, put on my other hat and smile in hopes to accomplish my day as smoothly as possible. I head on my way back home after a 8hr work day, for round two of the daily marathon. I am sure I don’t need to share the details of how the evening goes, but it is generally a little less eventful except that now I find that because they will not nap thru the day. They are on a hair pin trigger of tears and instant melt downs before the 8:00 bedtime. I would love to put them in other extra curricular activities like swimming or dancing, but I don’t know where I could find the strength of if they have even an ounce of strength left at this time of day
I love being a mom of twins and they are so super entertaining and rewarding! They truly do bring me so much delight and watching them together cannot be explained how “in awe” I am to have these beautiful blessings in my life. I know it will get better! I LOVE MY TWINKIES!!
I love everything you wrote! I have twin three year old twin girls, whew.. They tell me they don’t need a nap because the sun is still awake. Bottom line I have been unsuccessful at getting them to mind me. Whenever they don’t get their way they run upstairs to spend time with their nunny(gma) now I don’t agree with this, but nunny always takes them with open spoiling arms….I feel defeated…I don’t have much advice here, but I am looking! Not to mention I just had my son, so extra toddler attention seeking is rampant..I love my children, jusy need to learn how to be a better mother….
We also have an older, 17-year-old daughter along with our twin 3-year-old boys and we found the best way to keep them out of her room and our room was to put a hook and eye at the top of the door. Those doorknob covers are so hard to use for adults, but toddlers can figure them out in 2 seconds. With the hook and eye you have to be tall enough to unlatch it. We weighed the options and decided a couple small holes were worth it.
I have twin girls be 4 in June thought nursery may calm them down but guess what no I have a 11 year old daughter too feel so sorry for her when they not wrecking the rest of the house they taking her room to bits everything you say is so true
I have twin 3-year-old boys and while I love them dearly, sometimes I just feel tired and I’m not even the one that stays home with them all day. My husband does that and thankfully he is great with them. We have learned a lot about parenting and how it’s very different with singles compared to multiples that’s for sure. I have to say in regards to fighting over things and teaching how to share, which we all know comes up a lot with twins, we have found that the timers on our cell phones are the greatest thing. When they start to fight over anything we tell them that we are starting the timer and we make them take turns until the timer goes off. At first there was a little bit of arguing, but now they know that when the timer goes off it’s time to either hand over the item to their brother or swap. It has saved us from a lot of screaming and tantrums.
We have also found that a trip to the dollar store and purchasing a few items that they like such as puzzles, crayons, balls, etc. can provide salvation for those times when you need a half hour to hour of undisturbed time. It can be extremely difficult to get something accomplished without them underfoot or worry that they will get into trouble, but this way you can give them something new to play with that didn’t cost a fortune, but will hold their interest for a while. I think $2 is totally worth an hour of quite uninterrupted play!
Good Luck All!
This is fantastic, so reassuring to know that we are sharing this experience with so many others. We have boy/girl twins who are 3yrs 2months….. terrible twos passed us by but since they’ve turned 3 it’s like they’ve had a personality transplant. Shouting doesn’t work, naughty corner has helped and surprisingly counting to 3 has been the most simple yet most effective. I like the idea of using the timer for sharing and will try this tomorrow….. anyone know how long this lasts for? Hoping and praying 4 will be easier!
Other moms of twins told me it would get better but once they hit 3 yeats old it has gotten progressively worse!!! There is no talking anymore. I only scream and yell and they only whine and cry. ALL DAY LONG!!!!! There is never more than a 5 minute period when they are not fighting. I have tried to “enjoy” them, but Im finding it nearly impossible!!!! Dont get me wrong, their adorable but will the whining and CONSTANT fighting ever stop? I feel so guilty because Im not enjoying this at all and Im just wishing away this short period when their little. Everyone says you will look back and miss this and I dont doubt that I will but I think if it was possible to “enjoy” this, people would and not look back later and wish they could have. Is it just me? Any advice about dealing with the constant fighting?
Dear Taryn, I needed to read this today. 5 days ago, you put the thoughts I am having today into words, those exact thoughts. I found this post googling help to raise my twins while keeping my sanity. I feel like all I’m doing ALL DAY is just is yell. And it doesn’t impress my boys at all! I’m not enjoying this. Every activity I plan, everything I wanna do with them ends with them running around like crazy, screaming, or whining if it doesn’t go their way and me, losing my mind. Wanna know the worst part? They’re not even 3 yet! They turn 3 in march…
Anyway, this post and the comments (especially the last one) made my day. Thank you!!
Dear Taryn, I needed to read this today. 5 days ago, you put the thoughts I am having today into words, those exact thoughts. I found this post googling help to raise my twins while keeping my sanity. I feel like all I’m doing ALL DAY is just is yell. And it doesn’t impress my boys at all! I’m not enjoying this. Every activity I plan, everything I wanna do with them ends with them running around like crazy, screaming, or whining if it doesn’t go their way and me, losing my mind. Wanna know the worst part? They’re not even 3 yet! They turn 3 in march…
Anyway, this post and the comments (especially the last one) made my day. Thank you!!
Oh my goodness. I can’t thank you enough for writing this. My boy and girl are 3 now and I just found this through a google search looking for a little comfort that it isn’t just me!! Your Gremlins and Wyatt Earp comments were spot on and made me laugh hysterically. I also have a 9yo and almost 8yo and when I look back at how I thought having two under two years apart was challenging, I just laugh at myself. Some days I think I must be losing my touch as a mom, or that I’m somehow missing the way to do this as relatively gracefully as I remember getting through the toddler years with my first two… What an ENORMOUS relief it is to know that I am not alone. When I tell my friends who have one three year old how insane it is over here, I feel like there just aren’t strong enough words for it!! I never knew there could be such sibling rivalry. Thank you soo sooo much. I am ready to face another day!
Hi Taryn, I hear you. I am not enjoying any part of my twins at the moment. I feel so sad about it. I hate that our family life is full of shouting and yelling and being cross all the time. There is no joy in parenting. I feel like we have been hijacked and are in a permanent roller coaster. I hate that I am not parenting the way I want to. That nothing is easy or fun. I just want this phase to be over. I hate that I am wishing away what is supposed to be the best years. I wish there was a magic answer to handling them but it doesn’t appear that there is. Nothing works.
Hi Taryn, I hear you. I am not enjoying any part of my twins at the moment. I feel so sad about it. I hate that our family life is full of shouting and yelling and being cross all the time. There is no joy in parenting. I feel like we have been hijacked and are in a permanent roller coaster. I hate that I am not parenting the way I want to. That nothing is easy or fun. I just want this phase to be over. I hate that I am wishing away what is supposed to be the best years. I wish there was a magic answer to handling them but it doesn’t appear that there is. Nothing works.
My partner and I used to be civilised human beings – seriously –
Full conversations, showered regularly, drank coffee slowly and rad books – our 3 year old twin boys are beyond any comprehension atm.
We have tried all the tips on parenting and more. We totally agree with you!!!
Twins come with their own special handbook (wherever that may be hidden).
We are now resigned to the “only way is through approach” … “Take each day as it comes and start over with a big deep breath frequently” We find ourselves saying “namaste” as they conspire to climb up cupboards, throw dual tantrums, find each other being disciplined hilariously funny, run in opposite directions, vonstanky want the same thing and occasionally fight eachkike they are in the WWF.
It is like they came with a best friend on a sleep over permantly.
We run them out – it’s the only way… we are out at an activity by 9,30 am everyday and we do another something that uses physical energy in the afternoon.
Never felt so blessed but never so stretched and beside ourselves sometimes.
People told us it got harder when we used to float around shopping centres with them in a contained 9 mth state … We just could not have imagined how intense it could be.
Nice to know we are not alone – as you can imagine we don’t get out much.
May the force be with you everyone.
Oh my goodness…. This is EXACTLY how my twin boys act… AND THEY AREN’T EVEN 3 YET. I feel like i’m constantly telling them “No!” and “Stop that!” and “Don’t hit your brother!” They love to run away and hardly listen. They are constantly getting into time outs because they don’t listen and I feel like it’s just not working! They’ll run off at the park, dart out into the street. I have to SCREAM to get their attention and I feel like i’m being judge by other parents as the “mean mommy”. I use to be very relaxed, never overly upset or angry at anything. But now it’s like i’m a little ball of rage and I never get a true break. Their dad tries but the boys don’t listen to him hardly either! I’m glad to know i’m not the only one going through this. It gives me some hope. Now if I can only get my husband to sit down and read this so he can know others in the world have our problems too.
My twin girls are 6 now. Their mother and I are divorced. The girls are doing great but I couldn’t deal with my X and her inability to control the kids. She was never consistent in her discipline. She would threaten to punish and not follow through. Times outs only work if you are consistent overtime without exception. Its hard at first but waaaaaay easier in the long run. I count to 2 and my girls scuffle to correct the situation and know why Im counting without having to ask. If time outs don’t work take away whatever they love most. Just be consistent you AND your husband. Take to them and explain these are the consequences of your behavior. Good luck!
My daughters just turned 3 and I’m still working with the potty training. And I can’t stop them from faithing… i tried give them space but they allways look for each other . It seems they are the ones in control not me. But after all this I love my princess. … any advice? Give me some hope please. ..
My boys are nearly 3.5 years and it hasn’t got easier… sorry all those new mums to all kids and especially to those of……. TWINS! ….but the truth is, after one of MANY tough days and stumbling across this hilarious blog, and comments, I feel very de-stressed suddenly that other parents have the same issues, and it is just fabulous to read such funny posts! It has really cheered me up!
A perfect example of the “dynamics” of twins is today is as we prepared for pre-school. Oh the joys of mornings!!!
1. We pick the items that we are showing this week to the nursery class. One twin.. a drum, the other a brown bag…..with an extra thing in it! …….not really allowed….I am already worn out.
2. Now, forgive me if I am wrong, but I kind of predict things these days on my twins behaviour for survival. After 3.5 years, I think I have figured some stuff out. WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. The boys picked their own items, first both wanting to take 50% of our house each with them. After explaining that the head preschool teacher will only want one item each, they understood super quick (lovely) and options were reduced, and they selected totally different items. It surprised me……whoohooo!!!
3. We get to school to drop the other two kids to their classes and the twins carry their “show and tells” to the nursery next door.
4. Suddenly a melt down and the mother of mothers of ALL tantrums in front of those mummies on the school rushing to get their own kids to school, themselves stressed out, with no sympathising glances to offer, (very disappointing reactions almost agitation, where is the love these days?) …..
4. Gosh….. I am just worn out, four kids out the door, and phone hubby who is working at home on important stuff, “bring the damn other drum”, now!.
5. Drum delivered. Twins go to pre-school happy and off I go. Survival of the morning.
I used to have a great job in the city of London, commuting, long hours, responsibility, but being a stay mum is really hard and exhausting. It really is….SO…… to all those working Dads out there.
1. If you look after the kids for only a few hours on the weekends to give your spouse a break, it really is easier than doing it ALL the time. Save on the advice.
2. When you come home, and you are tired after your day at the office as you have been working and you have just “walked through the door”, help your spouse and do 50% of the bed time routine. Your partner is likely to be exhausted. They (a man or female) have been working Very Hard Indeed At Home. It really is team work for happiness and a good marriage…..
Parents of twins are more likely to split up, it is proven…. So team work guys. I work well with my husband thankfully…. as it TOUGH.
It just one example guys, sorry. This kind of stuff goes on day after day so stay strong and soldier on!!!!
Hi
I have twins too a boy & a girl. They will be 3 on the 28th December. I can relate to all of what you have said. Mine are still not potty trained. We put them in the buggy to sleep around 8 in the evening & let them watch one programme. We have a strong double buggy which was very expensive but worth every penny. One normally falls asleep v quickly. We might have to push the other one a few times around the kitchen to get him to sleep. We put them in their own room a few months ago. Up to that they were in our room which was a disaster. One woke every night & wanted to be in our bed. I’m
delighted that we have overcome that problem. There are some nights they wake now but go back to sleep v quickly. Our boy twin is talking but our girl twin is not yet. She says a few words. It’s hard work having twins people don’t realise it. Best of luck