Raising Twins: what kind of cars do clowns drive?

Dear Izzy, Max, and Kate,

A few nights ago I took you two little ones to Pet Smart with me to get Coco the dogs nails trimmed. Seemingly simple trips always turn into an adventure. That’s the nature of parenting.

While we waited for Coco you ran around the store; throwing dog toys, “sleeping” in dog beds (see below), and “reading” books about dog training to each other. This reading process grew louder and louder.  You laughed and yelled dog commands, despite my constant warnings to be quiet. Eventually a store manager came to find us. He smiled when he saw 4 year old twins tearing roughly through books about dogs.


“Who’s winning,” he said, still smiling. It was a good question.

“Not me,” I said.

He laughed and walked away.

My answer wasn’t exactly accurate though. It’s hard to say who’s “winning” when it comes to raising kids – particularly twins. I think it’s more of a perpetual stalemate. A game of survival for Mommy and I. And a game of testing boundaries, always accompanied by a partner in crime for you kids.


Yesterday Mommy picked you up from Mother’s Day Out early, Max and Kate. The teacher called and said that you both had fevers after waking up from your naps. As I’ve written to you before, it’s almost a twisted tradition that you throw up in the van when sick. So you did, Max. Another mess. Stalemate? Nah, I’d call that one a win for you.

Keeping you two in your beds at night is a challenge even when you’re feeling well. Max, you wander into our bed room most nights and climb into bed. You’re a kicker, a tosser and turner. Your arrival always ushers Mommy or I to go to your empty bed, while the other sleeps with you in the big bed.

Last night was no different. I think the fever, perhaps, caused you to have nightmares. You love tractors. LOVE tractors. Obsession accurately describes your love. But last night you dreamed of them too much I’m afraid. Nigthmares, I think.

“NO! No, I don’t want tractors in my HOUSE!”, you screamed. Over and over. And over.

So, I didn’t sleep much.

Around 2:45am you sat up in bed, Max. You looked at me and said:

I kept quiet thinking you were still asleep.


“What is it boy?” I responded.

“What kind of cars do clowns drive?”

I was silent for a minute, thinking you might just lay back down without answer. You just sat and looked at me. These are the things that wake a 4 year old twin up at night. Important questions.

“Regular cars, Max. And trucks. Tractors too, I think,” I said.

You laid back down and fell into a fitful sleep.

I thought about the store managers question again. Who’s winning? I smiled at 2:45am, despite being awake in the middle of the night, as I thought about your question.

“What kind of cars do clowns drive?”

A win for me.

I love you,

– Daddy

Training: (final weeks before training starts again. Enjoying a few final days of laziness)

Tues: Swam 1000

Wed: none

Thurs: Swam 800 / planning on a 4 mile run