Time to swim ashore
Friday night’s sunset at Seagrove, FL
Dear Izzy, Max, and Kate,
As the sun set into the Gulf I sat and considered the future. How one path leads to another and what’s behind you becomes overgrown sometimes and you lose your way back. I wondered how long I’ve lingered in the empty space, unwilling to go farther down the path, but having no idea how to get home. I looked across the horizon, again awed by it’s vastness, how my eye can’t see it all at once. Darkness fell across the Gulf. I shuddered as I imagined myself swimming farther out. Farther. Until I couldn’t see the lights of the coast. Losing my way back.
I prayed each morning on the beach. Asked God for directions back.
After all, it was Him who set this all in motion a few years before. A longing to rediscover God’s will in my life.
Friday night at the beach, in the darkness – a full moon casting a spotlight across the inky waves, I asked Him for a sign. Aloud, I spoke to a God I can’t see and sometimes, it shames me to admit, I can’t even feel. I asked for a sign. Something I could see. I asked for peace. And knowing that I was doing the right thing.
I drifted to sleep that night with a weeks worth of sand in the sheets. I tossed and began to doubt myself.
Before the sun rose I walked back down to the beach while you slept.
I’ve never seen the Gulf as I saw it on Saturday morning. Perfectly still. Clear. No waves all, not even where the water meets the beach. Mommy and I sat and talked about my decision.
Ann, from the Turtle Patrol, walked up to us, just as she did on our last day last summer.
“What did you do with my waves?” she asked. “In all of the years I’ve walked this beach every day, I’ve never seen it this calm and peaceful.”
What talked for a few moments about the Gulf.
“You see something new everyday,” she said as she walked away.
I think that’s the key for me. I’m tired of feeling lost with no path home. Tired of swimming in the dark with no light to guide me back to the beach.
So God gave me my sign in a peaceful sea. Two years after He crushed me in a violent sea and told me to change. Full circle now to the calming waters. I walked out knee deep.
Yesterday was my last day at a job I’ve been in for 9 years.
The freedom I feel is guiding me back to the peace I know can exist in our life. It’s a huge risk Mommy and I agree is right for us. It took me years to listen and respond. But I am now.
However it turns out. It’s time to swim ashore.
I love you,
Daddy
TRAINING:
Sun: rode 26 miles
Mon: rode 36 miles
Tues: swam 2000 / Ran 4 miles
Wed; rode 20 miles
Thurs: swam 2000 / lifted weights / planning 6 mile run
Can’t wait to see y’all this weekend and learn more…
Congratulations on stepping out and making a tough decision. Direction and blessings will come and y’all will look back and be amazed at how patient God was and how good He is.
Praying for your journey Chad.
My brother in my 58 years a couple of times I have stood at the door where you stand. The sun going down on one thing, the waves perfectly still,and the wind quiet. Just silence. No feeling that God was anywhere around just silence. All great men of faith have been there. Noah as he built and ark, Abraham as he took his only son to Mt. Moriah (incidentally he named that place (“The Lord will Provide”). Moses at the burning bush (where God had him discard the only protection a shepherd had his shoes and staff) they might as well been his JOB, Elijah at the brook Cherith (which means the Brook that dries up).
Isaiah 50:10-11
10 “Who among you fears the Lord?
Who obeys the voice of His Servant?
Who walks in darkness
And has no light?
Let him trust in the name of the Lord
And rely upon his God.
11 Look, all you who kindle a fire,
Who encircle yourselves with sparks:
Walk in the light of your fire and in the sparks you have kindled—
This you shall have from My hand:
You shall lie down in torment.
I can’t wait to see what you next chapter brings. It will be great. Don’t look back. The journey will be exciting. We have God’s approval according to our faith. Feelings are fickel.
thank you for the comments.
I can’t wait to hear where God leads you. I’ve stood where you stand and it is terrifying and fun to see where He leads. Many blessings on you and your family!
Congratulations on making a tough decision. I’m sure I’m one of the hundreds if not more readers wishing you success.
Rest assured that when you are led, it will work out no matter how it looks along the way. God will certainly give you strength as well as direction. Now that you have taken that first step, we can all thank God in advance for your success!